With my friend RF’s permission, I posted her speech at Ling’s memorial service.


– A funeral speech delivered by Rebecca 

A famous writer once said “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give”. If that is true, then Ling made a great life!  

Ling, a native Shanghai girl, was an extraordinary individual. In her own rather short life, she gave her generous compassion, inspiration and courage to so many people.

I stand in front of you today in representing Ling’s friends in grief and in shock. We are here not only to pay our respects to Ling but also to celebrate Ling’s life.

Ling was a symbol and the very essence of optimism, courage, compassion, humbleness, and last but not the least her beauty and style. Most of all, Ling is a magnificent woman, friend, wife, and mother.

Ling became part of this friends circle through her UH graduate school classmate, her coworker, and myself. Her genuineness and depth of character have shined through our entire friends’ circle of more than 5 families. In all the years since then, there are so many sound memories of our parties, vacations, and most frequently, our lunches with Ling.

I still remember that September day when me and another friend did lunch with Ling. She was so interested in every topic from travel, investment, and good books. She told me afterwards that she enjoyed our lunch so much that she didn’t want to wait too long to meet up again… She scheduled the next one to be on October 12, which she never made to….

We still remembered all families in this friends’ circle gathered at a friend’s house while enjoying a new creative dish brought by Ling just two weeks prior to Ling’s tragedy. Today, here we are, missing one, suddenly.

Ling’s greatest gift was her God-given optimism and courage. Early this year during a routine mammogram check-up, she learned about a small mass in her breast. Doctor and close friends were all concerned knowing her related family medical history. However, she reacted amazingly calm during the two weeks diagnosis. She even hosted a fun football party the night before finding out her final diagnostic result. The result was benign. A friend asked afterwards why this didn’t bother her during that two weeks, she said she already prepared that if the result was bad, she would work with hospital and doctor and she trusted she would be fine.

Ling has also embraced her optimism and courage to many other people. One time she learned about Ray’s babysitter was having a serious health issue. She comforted and encouraged that babysitter to have a speedy recovery because she might one day ask her to babysit Ray’s future sister or brother!

Ling said numerous time to various friends in our group that everything has its bright side and life is about to embrace that bright side. That’s the trademark of Ling, and those are words of wisdom that we will always cherish.  

And here we come to another truth about her. For all the innocence, humbleness, and the fragileness she acquired, Ling remained to have a very strong will, and a determination to success. I still remember when we had ski trip together two years ago, Ling was so determined that she will pass the first level lesson to move to the next one by the end of that day. Five hours later she fulfilled her goal, while I had nothing to compare other than sipping though cups and cups of hot chocolate drinks.

Ling was a true blessing to each and every person who knew and loved her. She has shined upon all of us on how to appreciate life and how to live it to the fullest.

Remember the football party she hosted the night before her test result day? She showcased her talented gourmet cooking skills by preparing a full table of tasty and delightful dishes. Her thoughtful trimming of the party matches the football party theme perfectly…

Ling was a also beautiful woman with a remarkable taste of style. Her favorite green and yellow color theme fitted so well with her pure and bright personality. Her matching bag and shoes was always the flagship of her sophistication.

Ling, your optimism, courage, and your love for life transmitted wherever you took your smile and the sparkle in those positive eyes.  It was your exact characters that made us all be here today.

Today is our chance to say thank you for the way you brightened our lives. We will forever be grateful for spending those years of our lives with a friend like you. All the memories we have shared with you will forever be cherished and remembered.  We will forever remember how you touched our lives.

This is not the moment for us to shed our tears, but we shall all be thankful, that we were given the chance to have known a magnificent friend named Ling Feng.

Ling, thank you for having graced our lives. May you rest in peace in heaven.

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